Seeds of Doubt

Today has been a messy, doubt-filled day. I feel like giving up. I feel tired. I’m weary and I’m emotional. I am worn out and I am struggling to see God’s plan or understand the goodness this cancer can bring. I am overwhelmed.

I know these are thoughts sown by the devil himself and in that, I reject these thoughts. But it doesn’t stop my flesh from experiencing them. It also doesn’t make it any easier.

Seizures!

Sunday, I had my first seizure. I’m still unsure if it was a seizure though the doctor says yes, but the symptoms point towards that. What I experienced that night felt a lot like a night terror/sleep paralysis, too. What I do know is that in the middle of the night, my heart rate shot up and I felt completely paralyzed.

Be Still…

What does it mean to “be still?” When I think of it in the way I define the English words, it means to stop moving, pause, hold. But as I read further into this verse, I learned that the Hebrew word used in this verse literally translates to “let go” or “cease striving.”

Seasons

Cancer sucks. Those around me know my strong, independent will. They know I’m a fighter, and I’ll stand at cancer’s door, ready to take on the world. There’s another side to me, too. I’m a mom. I’m a wife. I’m a sister. I’m a daughter. And I’m scared.

A Moms View of Jesus

So, it’s Christmas. And every amazing Christmas song is playing. My husband and I usually go to the Shane & Shane and Phil Wickham concert every year but this year, opted to watch it online due to COVID-19. I’ve been listening to the song Face of God by Phil Wickham and O Come, O Come […]

Moody Gardens, Iceland & Fishing

Fishing was fun this year for the guys.  It was so windy!  I bought a charter boat ride for the guys via Galveston Fishing Charter Co.

Captain Saul was amazing and Silas…

Clayton C. Anderson and NASA

To Clayton:  Thank you.  You’ll never understand the passion you put behind our son.  He’s a little guy who strives for attention and sometimes, self-worth.  He wants so much to find his place in this world and I’ve always been convinced God has a special task for him.  I pray the fire you lit in him stays for the…

When you finally realize it works…

As a person who is now getting the point of burying my grandparents and other relatives I see starting to get older, I’m realizing how important these memories are.  Pictures can’t be replaced.  They tell a story.  Bad or good, they show us for what we were at a certain point in time and they are to serve as a marker…a kind of…

Day 3 – otherwise known as veggies are hell day…

So, here’s me being all accountable.  What a pretty plate!  I mean, colorful, veggies.  A nice shake.  It was good.  Not.  Today was the ‘If I hate to eat another damn vegetable, I’m going to throw up’ day and that was day 2 of veggies.  I’m so screwed.

Treading Water

You ever had those moments where you look at your schedule and wonder how in the world you’re making it all fit?  Yeah, me too. I recently read a book (well, morel like listened to an audio book, because I don’t have time to just ‘sit and read’) that talked about how we’ll never have […]