The side effects of cancer…

When I started this blog, I thought about a name that would convey my day to day life. Marriage, kids, and just my day to day speed of 90 mph to nothing and stopping at nothing to slow down. I wanted a way to acknowledge through words that I was happy, I am married, and that despite those two, life can be overwhelming. That despite happiness, a great spouse, kids, a house, a good job, that life can still be a LOT for us to deal with. When I wrote it, I never thought that one day, my overwhelmed would be cancer. I never thought about the definition of that word and the importance that one day it would mean to this blog. Through the time here, it has seen lots of fun posts, but it has seen lots of serious ones, too. Parenting, marriage, jobs, sad events, good events, diets (YUCK), medical issues, and more. I’ve got more drafts in my folders than I know what to do with and sometimes, my inner filter kicks in and says, “Nope, don’t post that one.”

Then, I have those days where Jesus pokes at me and says, “Yep, post that one today.” THOSE are the days I really dislike posting and I LOVE to argue with Him. Today, I guess, is one of those days.

How Prayer and Listening Shape Our Decisions

It’s about a guy who is stuck on his roof in a floor and prays to God for help. A couple of different ways come by to help him – he declines them all, saying basically, “No, I’m good. God is going to help.” End of the story, he dies. He gets to Heaven and asks God, “Why didn’t you save me?”

Yearbooks: Capturing the Memories

I had to take Silas to lessons and offered to fill up the gas cans while I was out. I don’t know why I did. Moment of no brain, I guess. I can’t ever open those stupid gas cans. Went to fill them up, got so freaking MAD at how cold it was and I couldn’t feel my fingers that I put the gas cans back up, drove to Taco Bell and warmed up, got back out in the parking lot, unscrewed 3 of the 4 cans out of sheer anger and determination to not fail and then got even more blistered that I knew that meant I had to fill them up again.

Talk to Jesus: Spiritual Resolutions for the New Year

Mine is more simple: Just talk to Jesus more – and be more willing to put the words on paper He wants me to share. Whatever that means – and however hard they are. Not everything needs to be shock and awe. It doesn’t need a cliffhanger or a climax. I’m not writing a murder mystery or telling a Sherlock story with some insane plot twist. I’m just talking to Jesus – and I’ll share that along the way.

Cancer: It’s like getting a new car…

No matter if you’ve got the “good kind” or the “really invasive kind.” Cancer is deadly. There’s no preparing you to lose a family member from cancer whether you’ve had time to prepare or not. Having a child diagnosed with a tumor or cancer sucks major kinds of stupid and there’s zero preparation you go through as a parent to be ready to bury your child or watch them die a slow death, painful or not. Cancer destroys you.

Kelp Forests and God’s plans

My heart has been in being “busy.” How having little time to “think” has kept me from focusing on the fact that my cancer is very real and that there are some really deep-rooted fears there. So in an effort to mask all my feelings of worthlessness, I have made myself so busy that I give myself no time to think about these things and don’t have to deal with the thoughts.

Being a parent sucks…

You will be weak, hungry, and wounded – and you will be eaten alive by feral animals infected with rabies. You will be ridiculed, you will be mistreated, you will be yelled at and told you are unloved and hated. You will be mocked, you will be disregarded. You will be disrespected and laughed at. You will be hurt. You will cry. You will never be thanked. You will be told you’re not doing it right, you’re stupid,

Gods Plan vs. My Plan

I got denied twice. Hard denials from insurance. Due to “experimental medicine.” My doctor said that was to be expected. Even after her appeal, I got another denial. So the 3rd time, we filled out patient assistance knowing I would have to pay retail cost. ($31K/month) That got denied for some errors in paperwork – and it was at that point, I really just stopped and prayed.

The World is Made of Pizza.

This weekend, I had a pretty good reboot to get back on track hard and stick to only those foods and not cheat, which helped a lot.  Bar weekend, baby!  Thankfully, I’ve…

Weight and Picture Updates!

Dieting isn’t easy.  Making a lifestyle change is even harder.  But, it’s completely doable if you’re willing to do it and move through the process. I mean, look at this pic!  If I can do this, SO CAN YOU!  If you’re ready to save some money on it, too, I can give you a code that will get you