Can I just say how much I know these two are going to get me into trouble? These kids offer me a lot of insight of being a mama and trying to keep my own sanity in check sometimes. But more important, that boy in that pic…that heart for Jesus. He is a constant reminder of how much the Lord loves me.
You know, I used to listen to these women at Bible Study and their ‘love stories’ of their relationship with the Lord and I must admit, there was a little envy in my heart. What was it like to be in love with my Father? Was it the same love that I share with my husband? And was that weird? I’ve been able to put my finger on it a little more. Let me share.
Husbands and wives have a different kind of love than what The Lord has for us – as His children. It’s a passionate love, yes. It’s a bond we share with our spouses. We are one – in His Image. We are created by the Lord – placed together by the Lord. We are blessed with two children – not even blessed. Trusted maybe? Children that are not ours – wholly – but are ours on this earth.
Anyone who knows my backstory knows I have had all kinds of crazy struggles throughout my Christian life. Being raised Southern Baptist, falling out of the church, falling back into the church, falling into work and out of church again, and then coming to terms with God knocking on my door again. And each time, it’s as if He uses my son to reach me. He knows I listen, I guess. I mean, if you aren’t going to listen to the One that breathed life into your lungs, perhaps you will listen to the child you birthed, yes? I mean, perfect logic there to me.
Anyway – kind of back to where I am at. This morning, Silas shared with me a little bit about what he was feeling. The overall theme? He was listening to Hillsong’s song Stronger (You’ll notice this is an Amazon link. Never intended for you to purchase, but Amazon gives me a small amount back if you do!) because he wanted to ‘feel Jesus’. At the end, the next song that came on was This Is Our God. He said ‘Mommy, I feel like I’m gonna cry. I can feel Jesus.”
Yawl. If there was ever a ‘sucking-my-breath-out’ moment, that was it. More so because I know that I can barely even sing these songs without going into some ugly crying. It’s almost embarrassing. I don’t even know what causes me to go into crying fits like that. Is it the fact that I am too far from God? The fact that I truly have that ‘I-am-in-love-with-Him?’ moment? It kind of reminds me of how when my husband says something super nice or does something really nice (like hanging up my clothes!), I get all choked up and try not to show that. Not because I don’t appreciate it – but because I do not want to look like a baby.
…rambling. I know.
My point is, I’m not sure where you are in your life. Where you are in your walk with the Lord. But, He’s there, waiting on you. And there really is a chance to have a love affair with your Creator. Just as you love your children – that unconditional, relentless love. It’s possible with God. He loves you. What are you waiting on?
Blessings to you all,