Raising kids sucks. It’s not for the weak. It’s not for your independent hard heads either. It’s not for the dominant. It’s not for the co-dependent. It’s not for the people who are perfect. It’s not for the people who are jacked up. It’s not for the entrepreneurs, the CEO’s, the managers, the sales reps, the customer service, the teachers, the police, the social workers, the janitor, the coach, the chemist, the mathematician, the doctors, the lawyers, or the “jack of all trades, must do it all, stay-at-home parents”. You will be weak, hungry, and wounded – and you will be eaten alive by feral animals infected with rabies. You will be ridiculed, you will be mistreated, you will be yelled at and told you are unloved and hated. You will be mocked, you will be disregarded. You will be disrespected and laughed at. You will be hurt. You will cry. You will never be thanked. You will be told you’re not doing it right, you’re stupid, you don’t know what you’re talking about, or how things are different now than when you were a kid. You will be destroyed when you think you cannot be destroyed anymore. And just when you think you’re at rock bottom, the other kid or the husband will join in. Not intentionally, because no one ever intends to hurt. But, it will happen. And you’ll suck it up. You’ll take the beating because when you yell back, you can see the hurt in their eyes and you know two wrongs don’t make a right. You’ll question every moment of your parenting and wonder if you’re making them stronger or destroying them, too. You’ll question if you can stick to the discipline when it’s needed. You’ll question if you’re doing too much or not enough. You’ll want to give them the world, but you know that spoiling them will only hurt them more. You’ll want to shout how awesome they are from the rooftops and tell them over and over how proud you are of them even when they make a million mistakes, but you also know that too much pride could damage them. You will get sick. You’ll lose body parts with children. You’ll give up your perfect skin and accept the stretch marks. You’ll accept the apron from the c-section. You’ll learn that stress can cause all sorts of other things and you’ll accept the worry you have that makes you sick when you think about all the things that could go wrong. You’ll raise them to fear the Lord and you’ll fear that you are going to Hell for things you are doing wrong every day. You ask for forgiveness repeatedly and you wonder how God can forgive you so many times, but then you look at that child and realize how much God loves you, too.

You see, that child loves you. Even on the days that suck really bad. The days where they go weeks without saying they love you. That no matter how many times you tell them you want to hear it and they never say it, you know they love you. You’re the first one they text when they have a bad day. You’re the one they call when they need a snack or need a pencil in their locker for school. You’re the one they ask to help them get ready for an event. You’re the one they ask some of the hard questions to. Because they know you love them – and you won’t lie to them.

That child, they love you. And sometimes, you have to tell yourself that over and over until you can believe it. Because in the moment when you are feeling like absolute dog crap, you have to remember that at one point, you were like that, too. Your life may be perfect on the outside now, but there are still wounds that remind you how far you’ve come. That child is a reflection of God’s perfect grace. The love and forgiveness you extend that child, the grace and mercy you show you a child who is so hellbent on doing it their own way regardless of your warnings – that’s but a tinder of the flame of God’s love for you. It pales in comparison to the way God looks down on you and wants nothing more than for you to say “Hi, Father. I need you.”

Some days are hard. But when it’s hard to be a parent, when it hurts the most, remember that your child loves you. Wipe away your tears. Love your child and forgive them of their shortcomings as God forgives you. Parenting you isn’t easy on your Heavenly Father either.