So, it’s Christmas. And every amazing Christmas song is playing. My husband and I usually go to the Shane & Shane and Phil Wickham concert every year but this year, opted to watch it online due to COVID-19.

I’ve been listening to the song Face of God by Phil Wickham and O Come, O Come Emmanuel by Shane & Shane practically on repeat. Face of God is hitting me like a ton of bricks y’all. Let me lay the groundwork for y’all.

Put yourself in Mary’s shoes in today’s society. We are practically lawless in Gods eyes, disobeying the 10 commandments at every turn. It feels like we’re repeating the book of Daniel with our “modern day kings”.

Now imagine, you’re going to be married soon. And you get a message from above saying you’re about to carry the Son of God. We’ve all seen the legalistic churches today. We’ve seen the wealth and prosperity churches, the fire and hell churches. We’ve seen churches that check the boxes. It feels like there’s a movement happening in our world today. 2020 hasn’t been a joke y’all. We’ve seen our government start to crack, racism then ugly, and people just flat out show their nasty side. But we’ve also seen the amazing things. We’ve seen Christmas decorations go up early. We’ve seen more people pray. We’ve even heard the media call the alignment of planets The Bethlehem Star. Sure, it’s not, but if it’s how Gods word starts to spread. I’ll take it.

Back to Mary, though. So you’re about to get married. You find out your pregnant. Let me tell your, I feel like I would have stopped there. Would I have been strong enough to be Mary? Did Mary know that her son “saving mankind” meant He would be crucified? Beaten? Spit on? Drug through the streets? A crown of thorns shoved into His skull? Could you have watched your own child, and not begged God to stop? Could you please have watched and not died yourself? Could you have held yourself up?

What did Mary see that night? The night Jesus was born? Did she realize this WAS the Face of God? She was literally looking at God in the flesh? Did she realize the diapers she would change, the words she would teach, the food she would feed, would be to Jesus Christ Himself?

Y’all, I struggle with this. I wonder if God shielded her from some of that as Jesus was younger and just let her raise Him. I wonder some days if she HAD to raise Him? Was he ever sick? Did He ever scrape His knee learning to walk? Did He ever feel like her son or did He always feel like a mission from God above?

As a mom today, I would lay my life down for my children. I would give every breathe to keep them happy and make sure they are fed and well. I get so mad when they do foolish things, when they sin. Mary never experienced this with Jesus. What must that have been like? To have a literally perfect child?

I’m not saying this to wish it at all. I’m saying it to be thankful I have not had this weight. Sure, we all dream of a perfect child. Well behaved, chivalrous, well mannered. But what if your child never made mistakes? Would you ever question your purpose as a parent?

I can’t imagine what Mary saw that night. The thought of looking into the Lords eyes. Knowing He would one day be tortured. Knowing one day He would perform miracles. Knowing that HIS purpose was to save all of us…including her. I struggle with all of it.

So moms, what about you?