I recently came across a good article posted by a friend on Facebook who blogs over at Momfessionals.com. If you haven’t read her blog, I would seriously recommend it. She’s got 3 amazing children and has some fun stuff about her home, kiddos, and events that she blogs about.
So, I came across this link she had shared about discipline and how it impacts not only home life but the classroom as well. This is a big deal for us in our home since our son has ADHD and we’ve really struggled with how to help him ‘cope’ with the hyperactivity.
Our daughter, so far, hasn’t exhibited signs of being…well…a crazed lunatic with an absolute endless supply of sugar. (Yes, I said it. But, hey – you try to deal with crazy from that AND dad. I should get an award some days!)
So, what’s it like you ask? Well, close your eyes (wait, no, keep reading) and imagine this: 12983719823718293712837123 bunnies running towards someone with food. That’s what my son is like. Every. Single. Day. Want to babysit? (Seriously, I’ve got a few bucks I can give you.)
ADHD is hard stuff, y’all. It’s like trying to explain to someone who isn’t colorblind that there’s people out there that can’t see what non-colorblind people can. Wait, that’s not a good analogy is it? Whatever – move along.
Anyway, I’m part of a lot of Facebook groups. I get a lot of newsletters about ADHD. I’ve read plenty about adderall, concerta, vyvanse, quillivant, CBD oil, dye free diets, high protein diets, electronic free days, more exercise, more recess, and even the discipline-your-kid-more-because-you’re-not-doing-something-right-as-a-parent articles.
Enough. All right? Seriously, enough.
ADHD isn’t some medical condition that is cop-out for a kid (or a parent). It’s also not an issue with electronics or discipline or diets or anything else. ADHD isn’t CAUSED by any of these things. It’s CAUSED by the brain. No different than what someone with an anxiety disorder (or in my case panic attacks when I get on a plane) has or even someone with an insulin deficiency. Do you yell at a diabetic when they take shots? No? Why? Because you’d be an insensitive jerk. But, this article isn’t about ADHD or brain scans. If you want to read up on that, go here. (Or do a google search on ADHD brain scans. Oh look, I even made it convenient for you. Click that link up there.)
But, that said, ADHD is ‘soothed’ by staying consistent by supplementing diet, exercise, electronics, and in some cases, medication (there, I said it…medication. Medication, medication, medication. I’m a bad mom, okay?).
His counselor has been working with us too – and electronics are an easy thing to explain too. When you play a video game, your eyes, fingers, ears, and brain are going 90 to nothing. But your legs? Your heart? Still. Not moving. Lazy. So what happens when you stop playing that game? Yeah, you got it mama. That energy has to go somewhere. And OUT it goes into whatever they can find (mouth, running, fingers, laughing, giggling, etc.).
When I read the article from Momfessionals blogger, Andrea, I have to admit, I agreed with so much of it. My heart hurt a little because as a mom to a kiddo with ADHD, Ive realized how much the teachers at our school have done for our little guy. Our boys teachers have been absolutely incredible. I do really dislike when my kiddo gets recess taken away as an example mentioned in the Lovewhatmatters article, especially knowing my ADHD boy DOES need that exercise to help balance him out – and he does do a lot better when he has exercise or outlets to run some of that energy off.
I don’t spend a lot of time on ‘bad behavior’ moments with our son. I know there are some kids out there with ADHD that have some real serious issues with Oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) and I can tell you I haven’t done enough research to speak on it. However, I do know that one of the things our counselor has told us is that as a parent, you have to determine if the issue is ‘malicious’ and from the heart – or if it’s just a ‘superficial sin issue.’ Now, all sin is sin. But sin that’s direct and from the heart is a lot harder to correct. I would love to hear from anyone in the comments down below if you have a child with ODD and how you are handling it.
Then, I got to the ‘excuses’ part of her blog. This article really feels like a response to all of this, but I promise, it’s not. I fully agree with her article, but wanted to give a different perspective of ADHD too. My husband and I, I hope, are partners with our teachers. I would like to say that I have advocated well for our teachers during the year and tried to partner (and honestly, empathize) with them when our son acts like he’s eaten 10 donuts for breakfast. (That only happens on Friday’s by the way.) But, I agree with the author here. Please, stop making excuses for your kids. This whole millennial/generation after that stuff that has all these kids feeling entitled is BORING. I was raised in the country and I’m no stranger to hard work. So to see kids who are so coddled after makes me want to throw up.
For the part about teachers walking on eggshells…Really. To my son’s future’s educators, my husband and I have skin made of nails. Be real with us. We’re gonna be real with you.
And if you’re one of those moms (or dads) that think your kid is perfect and your teacher is always wrong, perhaps you should spend a day with a bunch of kids who are generally thankless, rotten, and entitled. I’m not saying all kids are like this. But, there’s a LOT of them out there and parents, you got no one to thank but the person in the mirror. Don’t cry when that’s the president you vote for when you’re 60. We are raising this generation. You sow snowflakes, you’re gonna reap snowflakes.
Anyway, that’s a lot of words. You should read the article, if you haven’t. And if you want to see a prettier blog – go check out Momfessionals.com. You’ll love her stuff, too!